Wow, I haven't posted in a while. I just wanted to give a quick update on my mom for anyone who's interested.

She was moved back to the ICU a while ago, because she suddenly started shivering with fever. Her rash was getting really terrible (some shithead gave her penicillin, which we warned them about multiple times; she's really allergic), she was swollen red and purple with blisters everywhere. I couldn't visit her because they took her off all medication and I have a cold. Don't want to make her worse :( Thank Michael (LOL) my dad called today that she's doing A LOT better. At this rate, she can go back to the Neurology Department this week and I'll be able to visit her again.

Her recovery from the stroke is going in the right direction as well. She's starting to write, draw and talk, she even asked when her little girl was going to come and see her :') Though we suspect she might be missing a chunk of the recent years - dad says she looks confused when he says I have lectures at uni, but she does know who my bf is. I hope everything will come back in the future.

My aunt sent me a bunch of pictures of our family. We're going to make a picture book with names so it will be easier to remember for mom. Anything to help her :)

I saw it yesterday. Words cannot express the way I felt, and still feel. I cried a little during Earth Song, his little speech about saving the planet was so emotional and made me realize once more that he really is gone...and that we need to continue his efforts. The world owes it to him.

I smiled more, though. And I hopped around in my chair (I was the only one, the audience was stupid!). The movie was just so positive and uplifting! We stayed until the absolute end and applauded. Loudly. I yelled "WHOOOOOOO MICHAAAAEEEL!" but people weren't catching on so I felt like an idiot XD

Oh, I had a little fangirl moment when he threw back his jacket and showed this tiny bit of upper arm...guhhh I have a thing for his arms. I was a puddle. And can I just say that Judith is ONE LUCKY HO. Michael went all PIMP! on her during IJCSLY and I just sdgnrgbobhgnaWHOA.

I'm definitely seeing it again next week. I have to keep reminding myself that it's only in theaters for two weeks, and that next week actually is THE LAST WEEK. Damn. I heard that they're not releasing the DVD/Blu-ray until January or February, which is waaaaaaay too far away. I need to see it at least once more!

We had a Halloween drink last night, and of course I dressed up as Michael :D


( A-hee-hee! )

So, I've already posted this in several places, but I'm doing it here anyways.

My mom had a stroke yesterday evening during dinner. She told my dad her head hurt, and she just collapsed. She was rushed to the hospital within an hour, and though she was a little tired, she could still conversate. However, when they rushed her to the second hospital (which specializes in strokes), she suffered another bleeding. She became comatose and was operated soon after. We got to see her right before she went into surgery, and I can tell you that was really fucking scary.

Surgery went well, and she was put in the IC. We went to see her today, and thank god she's stable. She responded pretty well to pain (she moved both her arms and legs and apparently tried to open her eyes), and she coughed a couple of times because of the tube in her throat. The doctor said it was an attempt to breathe on her own.

She's got so many wires and stuff attached to her, it's scary. My family was there and I just couldn't stop crying. My grandma was so upset. My mom has to stay at the hospital for at least two weeks, so I'll be visiting her every day. I just hope she wakes up soon, because we have no idea what kind of damage the bleeding has done.

She had just ordered tickets to This Is It that afternoon so we could go and see it together. I'm going out tomorrow to get her an mp3 player and I'm stuffing it with Michael Jackson's songs. He has helped me calm down multiple times the past two days, and I'm hoping he can help her too. Liberian Girl is her favorite song...I hope she remembers when she wakes up.

I found a post with that title on an MJ community, and though I replied there, I wanted to post this in my own journal as well.


I was actually asleep when it happened. Because of the time difference, it was around 11 in the evening when it came on the news, and I had already gone to bed. The next day my boyfriend had to get up early, and he woke me right before he left. "Michael Jackson died."

All I could say was "What? WHAT?" Michael was someone who just couldn't die. He COULDN'T. I actually went back to sleep, still not really believing what I'd just heard. When I got out of bed, I turned on the TV and my laptop and tried to get as much information as possible. I didn't cry.

I hadn't actually been following him anymore for a couple of years now. I guess I lost touch with him because there was no new music, and I was in high school when it wasn't cool to listen to Michael. Stupid, I know. Kids are stupid. But when it finally dawned on me that he really was gone, I slowly started to realize what a huge part of my childhood this man really was. I remembered being little and being scared to death by Thriller, dancing to Remember The Time, and declaring Ghosts my favorite video ever. During my childhood, Michael had always been there. I think that's why I thought he couldn't die.

I didn't cry until the memorial. Right before it was about to start, I broke down. They were showing the car with his casket being driven to the Staples Center while playing Gone Too Soon, and I just...broke down. I couldn't stop crying.

The days after the memorial were really hard. But as time goes by, I am starting to feel more at peace with it. Though sometimes I forget he is gone. When I listen to his music he just seems so alive...and when I remember I choke up all over again.

Right now I listen to his music every day, dance my butt off, and I watch a lot of his videos on Youtube. I just HAVE to stay positive and try to live life to the fullest. For Michael. :)

The boy and I went shopping last Friday and I bought some awesome new stuff. Got blue and yellow checkered All Stars, three shirts and RED skinny jeans! I've been looking for those for god knows how long. And they were only 30 euros. :D

We'll be going to an exhibit on Russian tsars next week, and the week after we'll go to the Dolfinarium. YAY DOLPHINS! It's my birthday the 12th and I wanted to do something fun. I also have a lot of aaaawesome concerts coming up in the next couple of months. Lowlands festival, then AFI, Muse, Milow, and Placebo. Did I miss anything? I dunno. Anyways, it's AWESOME!

AFI Show Announcement!
Wed, August 26th
Melkweg
Amsterdam !

The word "excitement" doesn't even BEGIN to cover it. I HAVE TICKETS! :D :D :D

...

HOLY SHIT. I'm going to see AFI NEXT MONTH. NEXT MONTH. 40 DAYS. *ear-piercing scream*

I'm so happy I could cry. ♥ ♥ ♥

I cried so hard. My heart broke when Paris said her daddy was the best father in the world and just broke down. I really liked Brooke Shields's speech, too. Smile.

But just seeing that golden coffin and KNOWING he's in there...god.

This is going to sound weird, probably. But I still cannot get over Michael Jackson’s death. I still expect him to pop up somewhere to tell us that this was all one sick joke.

I hadn’t been following him anymore for the past few years, but during the nineties I absolutely adored that man. I wanted to BE him. Videos like Ghosts, Thriller, Beat It, Earth Song, Remember The Time…god. I was always so impressed by his videos, his singing, his dancing. I’ve been watching his videos on TV on repeat for the past two days and he still amazes me. I don’t think any celebrity’s death has ever gotten a hold of me like this, just typing this has me on the verge of tears. I feel like my youth just died. Scratch that, my youth DID just die. He’s never going to be on the news anymore, never going to make new music, new videos or live performances…

I was really looking forward to those 50 concerts, hoping he would still be as incredible as he used to be. I wanted this to be his chance to be remembered for being the fantastically talented genius of an artist he was, and still is, instead of for those damn child molestation rumors. I never believed them. This man was so sensitive and naïve, I cannot imagine him being capable of hurting anybody. The poor guy never had a childhood of his own, did people really believe he was willing to ruin someone else’s? That he could be that evil?

Great, now I’m really crying.

Michael was beautiful in his own way, both inside and out. Yes, on the outside, too. His nose might have been butchered, but I could never let myself call him ugly. I just couldn’t. He was beautiful in his own way, charming, charismatic. It kills me that I will never be able to see him in person, ever. He’s gone.

I’ll probably be buying most, if not all, of his albums and DVDs somewhere in the near future. I feel like I just have to. Michael Jackson was a legend and he will always be a legend.

The King of Pop.

I love you more.

Michael Jackson died. WTF, the King of Pop doesn't die!


RIP.

Sometimes I just don't understand myself. I have an exam next Monday and what am I doing? Of course, scouring the internet for ANYTHING to distract me from studying. But I have to pass this exam, because this is a resit. And I don't want to retake the course next year, since next year I have to write my bachelor thesis. WTF next year! I don't wanna! Too much work! Yes, I'm a lazy bastard and I know it.

Oh, I would just about kill for a week off. Or even a day. I have been studying all month and I think my brain is saturated. I just can't absorb any information anymore. But I suppose I should go back to study now...*sigh*

ps. Patrick Wolf's new album is beautiful. ♥
pps. Why did I ever stop reading House/Wilson? ♥ ♥
ppps. I'm going to see Muse and Placebo later this year!
pppps. Right. I am leaving. Now. Right now.

So, I was going to make an epic Hugh Laurie birthday post last week, but school got in the way and I forgot. :(

But anyway,

HAPPY (belated) 50TH B-DAY

to one of the most talented people on earth ♥ ♥ ♥

I'm going to post this interview because I think bearded Hugh is oddly sexy!

- I got my first tattoo! Nasty foot, I know. Ignore it.
- I'm writing an enormous essay on AFI in which I argue...well, nothing because it's CRAP. Handing it in tomorrow...
- I figured out one of the courses I'm following next year. Finally. Now I have to decide on the others.
- I am seriously considering becoming a vegetarian. Or at least cut back on the meat consumption.
- Apparently AFI is doing a fall tour. Holy shit. *flails*
- Muse is coming to Rotterdam so of course I'll be there. I just hope it does't coincide with that AFI tour.
- We cleaned out the kitchen and discovered that we have an enormous amount of coffee mugs.
- I've been reading slash again. Which has been a looooong while. Thank you, Iphi :D
- The boy wants me to start boxing. Yes, we have a punching bag. No, I do not fancy using it for anything else but to hang my clothes on.


And I want a new laptop!! This one is driving me nuts.

...I wish I was able to go :( Placebo, The Killers, BRUCE FREAKIN' SPRINGSTEEN. Gah. So frustrating. I'm watching it on TV now and I just...I want to see Bruce live so bad, I adore that man! Come back! *grabby hands*

Ah well, I shouldn't be complaining, I AM going to Lowlands after all :D

PATRICK WOLF IS COMING TO LOWLANDS!!! AAAHH!!!

This cancels out all the crappy stuff of late :D :D :D

I woke up Saturday morning sweating like a pig. I went to the bathroom and nearly passed out. My head felt like it was exploding. So I went back to bed. Then all of a sudden I started shivering like crazy. Great, I had a fever.

I have been feeling crappy for the past two days, I don't even know how much asprin I've been taking to get rid of my terrible headache! My muscles started getting sore over the course of the day, too. And I was home alone. The boy went to visit his parents over the weekend, but he was so worried that he got home Sunday afternoon instead of late in the evening. I felt really guilty, but I was glad he was back! I felt a little better on Sunday, though. I stayed in bed all day, just watching TV and dozing off, and I hardly ate anything, but I felt better. The weird thing is that I didn't feel nauseous at all. Just miserable, ha.

Today, I'm feeling a lot better. Still crappy, but better. Still a headache, still hot and cold flashes, but my muscles are a lot less sore, and I don't feel like fainting, which is always nice. I hope it goes away quickly! I have two birthdays coming up and I'd like to attend without sitting there being miserable and not enjoying myself.

The only UPSIDE in all of this? I got to watch Stephen Fry in America and QI all weekend :D

I saw 17 Again yesterday.

EXCUSE ME, WHEN DID ZAC EFRON BECOME HOT?

I had to move my tattoo appointment from May 12 to June 4. And now the boy might not be able to come along. :(

Ah well, I just really want to get it done as soon as possible!

Is Afeeslash not working for anybody else? I've been freaking out all day. :(

tentative edit: I think it's working now...

I finally saw Watchmen. Holy fucking shit I LOVED IT. I've never read the novel (I ordered it, though!) but damn, that was one amazing movie. I adored the music, too. Finally someone who uses the original version of Hallelujah! Hah.

Now please excuse me while I go salivate over some Rorschach pictures. :D